The Wrong Impression Guy

Another morning with a cigarette, staring at my blank horizon. Feeling wrong altogether. I have woken from a night with my desires crucified, yet again. An immobile smile is etched on my face with a mix of humility, embarrassment and nonchalance. It has taken me this far and long to realize what I have always known all along.

I have a penchant for a certain kind of guy. One who is unavailable, distant, cold and cruel disguised as funny, interesting.

"You got to be a masochist," a friend said. In my sexual fantasy, I am and in reality, I might be.

Certain experiences have to be learned. Statues of limitations to be followed and after years of exemplary failures, I have almost come to thinking that I got it. That is until last night. I have grown a certain amount of fondness for a certain fellow. He definitely fits the mold. unavailable, distant, cold and cruel disguised as funny, interesting. However, he is an upgraded version for his looks... Well, let us just say beyond interesting. But then as I move forward with my intentions, it hit me - this is the very abusive cycle that has got me thinking.

After all the progress I have made, it will be unfortunate if I back out now.