Devirginization, the process of a virgin’s first sexual experience, is so normal these days that celibacy and/ or self-preservation is already considered an urban myth. The act of opening up to another person special or not has become so prevalent today that it puts certain bible verses to shame.
Last Sunday, four single ladies, I included have responded to a breakfast invitation that opens with a statement, “I did it.” As usual, we have asked our friend the details of that event. Well, not biblically but how it has led her to finally do it. As she narrates the event that predates almost nine years of on-and-off flirting, I have noticed something strange. The fact that this deed is a reaction from her being tired of playing the good girl is not the only thing to take notice of but also the fact the she is not that proud of it. She is uncertain or deigns to think of the impact of this experience. I feel otherwise for her. I envy her. To imagine that one person such as her type (prude and very overly conservative and mature) can easily give it away still leaves my jaw wide open; feel free to throw a pun that a fly can enter my mouth.
It is my assumption that her experience impacts my life harder. Being an over-thinker myself, this occurrence presents the inevitable sleepless nights, long sighs and multitudes of explanations why and how shitty my situation is. Heck, I have started dreaming about it last night.
I can no longer insert my witty puns on this one. This has got to stop. All the illusions of doing it with certain eligible candidates, the positions to do/ perform/ receive, the preparations and even the situations that will lead to it. This is starting to be borderline noise to me.
So far, I only know one thing - I am waiting. If sex is the only thing to factor in this equation, I have done it eons ago. To me this is not a case of morality, being virtuous and all. Not even the readiness. I refuse to settle with the norm that the deed can define me. If I’m out to get the best teachers in life, my experiences, to educate me then sex will never be a part of it - at least to me. I have blithely embraced the fact that I have never been the go-to person for sex. That is just not who I am. I just hope my other head agrees with me.
Last Sunday, four single ladies, I included have responded to a breakfast invitation that opens with a statement, “I did it.” As usual, we have asked our friend the details of that event. Well, not biblically but how it has led her to finally do it. As she narrates the event that predates almost nine years of on-and-off flirting, I have noticed something strange. The fact that this deed is a reaction from her being tired of playing the good girl is not the only thing to take notice of but also the fact the she is not that proud of it. She is uncertain or deigns to think of the impact of this experience. I feel otherwise for her. I envy her. To imagine that one person such as her type (prude and very overly conservative and mature) can easily give it away still leaves my jaw wide open; feel free to throw a pun that a fly can enter my mouth.
It is my assumption that her experience impacts my life harder. Being an over-thinker myself, this occurrence presents the inevitable sleepless nights, long sighs and multitudes of explanations why and how shitty my situation is. Heck, I have started dreaming about it last night.
I can no longer insert my witty puns on this one. This has got to stop. All the illusions of doing it with certain eligible candidates, the positions to do/ perform/ receive, the preparations and even the situations that will lead to it. This is starting to be borderline noise to me.
So far, I only know one thing - I am waiting. If sex is the only thing to factor in this equation, I have done it eons ago. To me this is not a case of morality, being virtuous and all. Not even the readiness. I refuse to settle with the norm that the deed can define me. If I’m out to get the best teachers in life, my experiences, to educate me then sex will never be a part of it - at least to me. I have blithely embraced the fact that I have never been the go-to person for sex. That is just not who I am. I just hope my other head agrees with me.
Sometimes, the things that you do once defines your entirety.But when you decide on something, make sure that you don't look for someone to blame but yourself.What is important is that you pick up yourself, walk straight and be positive...kahit windang.(the girl who did it)
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